new years 2005.

i lasted a year.

I WIN!

things to do with brandini take 2

• fight club*
• ben folds <3*
• donny darko*
• perfect storm*
• show
• chocolate cream pie
• nap
• mints
• american history x*
• a polite burping contest*
• make shirts, OMGZ*
• dress up*
• dress up as ninjas and go to a fancy restaurant*
• watch the sunrise*
• 'your hand in mine'*
• ice cream cake
• cunt*
• how to deal*
• jive dancing*
• make more lists*
• eat all dressed chips
• charlie and the chocolate factory*
• bruschetta*
• iced fucking tea*
• yell in isolated forest*
• chicken run*
• dance (naked?)*
• print out list for each of us*
• whisper in the dark
• SLC punks
• "eating my nuts"
• tattoo/piercing
• haunted hamilton
• dress up like a fairy and take [black and white] pictures
• What Dreams May Come

*activities done whilst eating all dressed chips

i need a

better version of me.

12/25/2005

best christmas ever.

hap py holi days

dumb fuck, <3

Symptoms are usually gastrointestinal and can include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and headache. These symptoms can be severe especially in the old and very young. Symptoms last generally up to a week, and can appear 6-72 hours after ingestion of the bacterium.

The bacterium induces responses in the animal that it is infecting and this is probably what causes the symptoms rather than any direct toxin.

happy yet?

the centre viberates
strong and pure
the heartbeat pounds
to join the cure.

we sang out loud,
the power unmentionable.
the memory exists.
realism? questionable.

je ne sais pas.

the men reported to take care of it.
the lankiest of the three (at the time) took a handful and shared some with me.
we quickly stuffed our faces full.
the colours spun together.
Due to our state we stayed outside in the summer moolight.
the cops came.
i feared nothing.
a friendly kiss turned into passion.
violence took it's toll, leaving with less than it came with.
it commenced with sense and ended with nothing.
NOTHING.

3 minimum.

i am me.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I do not (will not) pretend to be anything i am not.
Mystery is my gimmick.
Complication bores me.
Simplicity scares me.
My future is forbidden.

There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.

- Edgar Allen Poe

no contrast.

the rest of winter
against the nation.
ideas passed on from
person to people.

i congradulate thee
for the amazing ability.
extreme feeling to
cause these (happy) tears.

snapshots freeze the moment.
lightly dimmed, turning darker
futher away from the core.
we are drawn in.

searching for a former clarity.

No the doctors didn't tell you, that you were dying.
They just collected their money, and sent you on your way.
But you knew all along, went on pretending nothing was wrong.
You said I will keep my focus, till the end.
And in the journal you kept by the side of your bed you wrote nightly in aspiration,of developing as an author.
Confessing childhood secrets, of dressing up in women's clothes, compulsions you never knew the reasons to.
Will everyone you ever meet or love be just relationship based on a false presumption?
Despite everyone you ever meet or love in the end, will you be all alone?

As the disease spreads slowly through your body,pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs,your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last.

your coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade,as your hair thinned, as the weight fell off, as your teeth blackened,as the lesions spotted your skin,

as you fell to your knees in the center of the stage,as you offered witness to mortality in exchange for the ticket price,as the lights blended into the continuing noise,as all hope was finally lost.

Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition.
Let this be the end.
Let this be the last song.
Let this be the end.
Let all be forgiven.

oh em gee times three

this week is going to kick.

just kick.

holy fuck.

i'm going to a haunted castle today. i didn't know it was haunted but that kind of excites me. look, being sick makes me look like i'm wearing make-up.